Always By My Side

"I will stand by you. I will help you through. When you've done all you can do, and you can't cope, I will dry your eyes. I will fight your fight. I will hold you tight, and I won't let go."
- Rascall Flatts

Let's get one thing straight. I'm not a fan of Rascall Flatts. At most, there are two or three songs that I can listen to from the group, but that's it. The good news is that this post is not about Rascall Flatts. I feel that if it was, it would not be received very well. This post is about something much more interesting. The subject of this post is much more unique, selfless, inspiring, and trustworthy than Rascall Flatts. And I can say that with absolute certainty, for even though I haven't met any members of the Rascall Flatts band, I have met this woman, and I'm delighted to report that she's one of my closest and dearest friends.

Her name is Olivia. Olivia Caroline Leuschen. (Sorry, Olivia. Your secret's out). She's a 21-year-old graduate of Galva-Holstein High School and is currently a junior studying political science at Iowa State University. She is an excellent pianist, flute player, choir singer, pen pal, and everything in between. She is one of the most talented individuals I know and uses her gifts to benefit others. There's so much more to say about her, but to include everything would require thousands and thousands of pages - pages I do not have the privilege of owning.

I've known Olivia since middle school. Anyone will tell you that I have the worst memory of any human being, (with the exception of my roommate), and therefore, I'm unsure about the date that we actually became acquainted. What I remember most about those years in middle school was that the flute section in band chaired so many girls. (That, and the study halls Olivia and I spent coming up with the most ridiculous classmate scenarios. We'll call them relationship scenarios). And honestly, none of those flute girls were good. It was middle school. No one was good.

Except for Olivia. She improved every single day and by the time we got to high school, she had asserted her dominance by taking on the responsibility of leading the flute section. (An argument could be made that Kayla Elemond, as first chair, held that responsibility. But if you were actually in that band, you would know who really wore the pants in that section). Very soon it became obvious that Olivia was extremely talented with all kinds of music, not just band. She was an incredible singer, which was sort of a letdown when the caliber of the high school choir was considered. Yet that didn't stop her from participating in some stellar solos and assorted small groups.

It was because of band that Olivia and I became close. Although I must also give credit to my older brother Caleb, for if he hadn't have taken me on so many fun outings - outings that Olivia also frequented - we might never have ignited that spark. It all began freshman year with MORP parties, after-school study sessions, and band concerts. From there, our friendship blossomed. By junior year, we were "thick as thieves," as Jack Sparrow - Captain Jack Sparrow, excuse me - would say. We went to movies, played cat-and-mouse, assigned Capture the Flag missions to team members, braved the darkness of my church basement to play some hide-and-seek, and everything in-between. I finally had that group of friends I had always wanted, and Olivia was one of the biggest reasons why that happened.

And then came SENIOR YEAR. I've referenced it so many times, but it was such a good year that I will never tire of talking about it. By senior year, our group had solidified itself and we were practically inseparable. Torso, Rocky, my two secret agents - codename: Breanna and Heidi - Giff, EStache, Dirty Ashley, and Harris... the world was ours. We still don't know how we all came to be together, but I figure it's foolish to question something that is so wonderful. What I do know is that it was because of Olivia that I was welcomed into this group: a group that has changed my life and a group I could never live without. It's because of Olivia that I experienced one of the greatest years of my life during senior year, and since then, memories have only gotten more memorable.

But here is where I make my confession: I never gave Olivia the credit that was due. I spent so much time focusing on other aspects of my life that I deemed tremendously important: trying to come up with the best way to make myself happy, lauding another friend just because he helped me through some tough times, complaining when things didn't go my way... the list goes on and on. I am one of the most self-centered people in the world, and no one can deny it. It's so obvious sometimes that I wonder how I even have friends in the first place. Whenever I talk to anyone, I somehow manage to manipulate the conversation to center on me and how my life sucks and how I'm such an innocent little guy who has bad things happen to him without fail. It's just not fair, I always say to myself. Unfortunately, Olivia received the brunt of this behavior. When I wasn't sulking in my own self-pity sessions, I was crying to her about how I deserve so much more than I have and how no one could possibly understand because of course I'm the first and only person to experience these feelings. I burdened her with so many useless thoughts and completely wasted time that I wouldn't be surprised to hear if at times she told people I needed to see a therapist. Who knows? Maybe I should see a therapist...

But that in itself is the quality I love most about Olivia. (Not the idea that she tells people I need to see a therapist. Although if anyone knows of a good one, maybe give me a call...). No no. The thing I love most about Olivia is that she actually cares. She takes time out of her own busy schedule to inquire how I'm dealing with mine. She takes a break from her endless list of responsibilities to listen to me complain about mine. She keeps up her end of the college-visit bargain even though I completely fail at mine. She's dealt with all of my insecurities - all of my horrible idiosyncrasies - with an incredible amount of grace, honesty, and, at times, her own sense of humor. She pushes me that extra little bit whenever I need that extra kick to get me moving. She's always willing to listen to my self-pity sessions, and she doesn't even charge me for them! If she did, she'd probably be a millionaire by now. She's one of the nicest people I know, but when the time calls for it, she won't hesitate to give a firm but caring backhand to the face. Maturity doesn't even begin to describe the way she deals with each of these situations. Why? Because for a 21-year-old, she's dealt with issues that most people don't come up against in their entire lives. Even in her most desperate times of hardship and heartbreak, she's able to rely on the immense stores of poise and strength she accumulates from past experiences. These characteristics filter into every part of her life: family, friends, and, even though it's new, her relationship status (congratulations, again). They allow her to overcome any obstacle that dares to confront her. She may seem like a weak target, what with her only being 5'5" and all, but what she lacks in height she more than makes up for with her ability to overpower the world and any problems it might throw at her. Her unconscious ability to pass on that power to others is one of the most liberating gifts I've ever encountered, and one I will continue to be thankful for until the day I die.

So here's to you, Olivia. You have definitely stood by me, helped me through, dried my eyes, and fought my fights. Holding me tight would require us to have the sort of relationship you have with Tyler, so we'll skip that part for now. You're one of the few reasons why I still function as a human being. I'm still (relatively) sane because you've always been there for me, even when you didn't have the time or patience to be. I've never been able to repay the favor because compared to you, who could? Nobody. You've heard more of my problems, listened to more of my rants, and comforted more of my misgivings than any other person I know. And yet you're always willing to do more. I know that if all else fails, you'll forever be by my side to help me through it all. You mean more to me than words can express. Your friendship has helped define my life and will continue to do so for many years. For that, and for so many other things on which I forgot to comment, thank you. From the bottom of my heart. May I never lose sight of the fact that you are one of the greatest gifts I could ever receive, simply because you keep on giving. You'll never stop because that's who you are.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.