You're The One

It's hard to be alone this time of year. We're all heading home to see loved ones for the holidays, but some are even luckier to be able to add a significant other to that group. And in light of everyone here at school getting engaged and running off together, things certainly seem to be happening pretty fast. Since I don't have anyone, I'll spend the next few minutes promising the best of myself to that special someone. Someday, she'll come along.

I promise to never laugh at you when you fall on the ice. Unless you laugh first. Then, after helping you up and making sure you're all right, I'll join in.

I promise to make you my world. No matter how cluttered it seems to be at the time.

I promise to add a little love to those chocolate chip cookies I'll make you whenever you want them.

I promise to let you win when we go out and play tennis. Sometimes.

I promise to laugh at your jokes even when I don't understand them.

I promise to turn off the Christmas music if you're getting tired of it. You're that important to me.

I promise to make you breakfast in bed whenever you're not up to the task of making it yourself. I can't, however, promise it will be as delicious as when you actually make it yourself.

I promise to clean up my mess afterwards. Let's face it. Guys can be good cooks, but we're also messy customers.

I promise to be the softest cuddler but hard as a rock when it comes to protecting you.

I promise to buy you flowers just so your day can have a little sunshine.

I promise to throw that blanket on you when you fall asleep on the couch.

I promise to let you cry as much as you need to without intruding with questions like "What happened?" and "Are you all right?" If you're crying, something is clearly wrong, but it doesn't mean you want to talk about it.

I promise to have the most attentive ears.

I promise that I will cry. Someday. And there's a chance that day might come when we're watching Toy Story 3.

I promise to put actual thought into buying you gifts on special occasions.

For all other occasions, I promise the same.

I promise you can have a say in naming our children. After our first daughter.

I promise to let you dress me up whenever you feel you need to take me shopping.

I promise to like your family. Even when I don't.

I promise to help you wash the dishes. Let's face it. Just need a little mood music.

I promise to spend as much time as I need to get you that huge stuffed animal at the carnival or amusement park. Whether it be five minutes (most cases), or two hours (if you want more than one).

I promise to be there for you with a hot bowl of soup and a movie when you're sick so I can make you feel better. Softest of cuddlers, remember. And when the time is right, we'll add ice cream or chocolate to that mix.

I promise to understand that you need to have five million different pairs of shoes.

I promise to put thought into it when you tell me I need more pairs of shoes.

I promise to treat you like my girlfriend/wife when I'm hanging out with "the guys." If you're cool enough to want to hang out with my guy friends, you deserve at least that. You deserve so much more because you picked me.

I promise to tell you you're beautiful every single day. And mean it.

I promise to sit through a chick flick even if I feel like watching a thrilling action movie.

Most important of all, I promise to love you with all that I am, all that I have, and all that I hold dear. You will be my life. You - and the adorable babies we'll have someday. I promise to do these things even when we're old and sitting in our chairs, looking back on the life we've lived together. We'll cherish all of the memories we created with each other: the good and the bad. For even through those bad times, I'll have had you by my side - an ever-present source of love and hope. Whenever you choose to enter my life, I will forever remember that day: the day that the rest of my life will begin. Until then, whoever you are, I can't wait to meet you.

Tis The Season

Motivation is at an all-time low. Classes are winding down, and with them, another year is coming to a close. Homework is reaching its climax and the studying for those dreaded finals has begun. Only one more week of regular class time until that fateful first morning when we are called to recall all we know, or at least, all we think we know, about our respective courses. Concerts are planned, sporting events are scheduled, and temperatures bring chills to the warmly dressed. Yes, it is definitely Christmas season.

A time for family. From the youngest to the oldest, this time of year is perfect for showing the appreciation they deserve.
A time for friends. Those closest, and even those not so much. Anyone deserves a smile. Those closest to you deserve a lot more.
A time for relaxation. After those finals, that is. You've earned it.
A time for safety. It's good to have fun. It's also good to be responsible.
A time for food. Enjoy that home-cooked wonderfulness while you can. You who are "seasoned" understand that home food is one of the greatest blessings on the face of the Earth.
A time for games. There are so many options when you hang out with others.
A time for memories. It's the most magical time of the year. An unwritten rule exists that says memories are forever engraved in your life during this special time. Don't waste those opportunities.

Love. Live. Laugh. Give. Grow. Inspire. And have fun while doing it.

11/24/11: Assembling All Thanks

Yesterday was, as its title implied, a day of thanksgiving. To start, these are thanksgivings I've had each day for the past 24 days.

11/1/11: Senior year of jazz band.
11/2/11: 2008-2009 basketball season.
11/3/11: The gingko tree in Flora.
11/4/11: Today I am thankful for pictures. Pictures on my laptop, pictures in my room, and pictures all around that remind me of wonderful moments of the past.
11/5/11: "Remember, remember, the 5th of November." I'm thankful for V For Vendetta. Such a great movie!
11/6/11: I LOVE my family and am so incredibly thankful for each and every one of them. It's been a great weekend.
11/7/11: I'm thankful for the necklace hand-crafted for me almost a year ago.
11/8/11: So begins the longest day of my life. However, I'm thankful for Tony Almeda. What an amazing character.
11/9/11: SO thankful for tests that are over and done with, along with exciting activities to partake in at night.
11/10/11: Very thankful that I've never had a problem with registering for classes. Let's hope that keeps up.
11/11/11: Such a unique day. I'm incredibly thankful for all of the opportunities we get because we live in this great nation that's protected by the most dedicated men and women in the world. Thank you, veterans.
11/12/11: Today I'm thankful for those days that remain in my life where I can sleep in. They may not happen much longer, but for now, they're so wonderful.
11/13/11: Today I'm thankful for wonderful church hymns that let me sing praises to my Lord. To go along with that, I'm thankful for amazing organists who can really bring out the beauty of these hymns that allow me to sing all the louder.
11/14/11: Today is a day to be thankful for beautiful weather that still blesses us with its presence.
11/15/11: Today I'm thankful for volleyball and the talents God has given to me to use to praise His name.
11/16/11: I'm thankful for the beautiful moon and stars God puts in the sky.
11/17/11: I'm so very thankful for the honest people in this world.
11/18/11: Today I'm thankful for Robin Williams, Whose Line Is It Anyway?, and THANKSGIVING BREAK!!!
11/19/11: I'm so so so thankful for the wonderful bed in my room that lets me sprawl out all big and tall. Love it.
11/20/11: Today, I'm thankful for tennis and the ability to rest afterwards.
11/21/11: Thankful for We Are Marshall - one of the most powerful movies I've ever seen.
11/22/11: Thankful for the opportunity to have some fun cleaning Allie's house, and also the chance to get to see friends tonight!
11/23/11: So so SO very thankful for each and every one of my friends. You guys mean the world to me!
11/24/11: Today I'm thankful for everything I haven't yet mentioned: friends, family, possessions, memories, and more. God has blessed me with so much. Thank you, Lord! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Here's hoping you all had a satisfying Thanksgiving meal and a great time visiting with your families. Now it's time to gear up for Christmas. One month, baby!

Missing

There's a small bulletin board that hangs on the wall in front of my desk. It only takes a simple look to see the many memories it holds. Jazz band, tennis, Adventureland trips, saxophone duets, best friends. Things I miss more than I can say. People I rarely see anymore. Events that will never now be more than memories. There's Prom junior year. That's when John and Ashley teamed up to do some hog mud wrestlin'. Oh and look! John, John, and I are swimming on the Wii while playing Mario and Sonic Olympics. Such wonderful moments...

A minute turn of my head and a graduation gift comes into full view. It's a black cardboard square with blue pie pieces puzzled together. Silver writing accompanies pictures of four of the greatest people on the planet, seen by the fifth as the closest friends one could ask for. These five people make up the senior delegation of the pie club, which has since faltered in our absence. Yet it will always remain strong and true as long as we hold true to each other. As stated on the sixth pie piece, "Without all five senior members the pie club isn't complete. [...] May the tradition never be forgotten as we grow older but never apart."
-Breanna Mathes, Ambassador

And now my screensaver pops up: a collage of the pictures and videos I've acquired throughout the past few years. There's Emily dominating the basketball court. That's our family reunited in St. Louis. Yes, Allie was pregnant with her now beautiful daughter. That's everyone at Neutral Groundz playing the 1649 version of Trivial Pursuit. That's Fernando Verdasco, one of the best professional tennis players in the world. You bet we went to the U.S. Open! And there are all the ink-soaked napkins and kleenexes we had to make use of at 11:00 at night when I decided to tip over my bottle full of India calligraphy ink. Just a sample of the many flickers of life I've experienced. Such wonderful moments...

I miss it. I miss them. I miss all of you. I miss the time when homework was annoying because it was irrelevant. I miss homework that was easy. I miss mathematical problems that had one simple solution and not ten different answers. I miss Galva. I miss basketball. I miss tennis, at least, tennis the way it used to be: without pressure. Without enormous expectations. I miss high school. I miss seeing my friends every day. I miss my room, with cool air conditioning in the summer and cozy heat in the winter. I miss my basement. I miss holidays that still let me return to a school where John Lorenzen played the saxophone, Olivia Leuschen played the flute, and Breanna Mathes ran faster than anyone around. I miss John Harris in Trig class. I miss Ben Grieme and cabbagighi. I miss Eric Rasmussen and le spot. I miss Ashley Drey and all of her horror movies. I miss my family: Matt and all of his big brother-ness; Allie and all of the fun we had with the Disney game; Caleb and all of his accents (yes, every single one of them); Christian with his fake burping; and Emily, even though she was never in the house. I miss Mom, with all of her cooking. Such amazing cooking! I miss real food. I miss having my father as a pastor, but also as a coach.

And yet, one of the things I miss most dearly is how different I was back then. How innocent everything was. How truly simple life was. And now... now things are important. I have responsibilities. I have a stupid banking assignment due Thursday that I haven't even started!

I miss it. I really do.

Visiting A Jackrabbit

One week ago today, Breanna and I had the wonderful opportunity to visit John in Brookings, South Dakota. SDSU played Indiana State at home so we were able to enjoy a full performance from the marching band: a fantastic halftime show and all the music they played between downs and quarters. It was such a great trip, and a much-needed one at that. Here are just a few samples of the fun we had.

After running at John and screaming his name like a hyena.

John showing off his amazing campus.

The band. In a word, greatness.

Man of the hour right there. Dead center.

Just a few pictures. It was a fantastic weekend. Hopefully we'll be able to do it again, except next time, we'll bring the whole posse.

Hmm...

"Dreaming of one who has passed is their way of telling you they are ok."

I read this on Facebook and it got me thinking. I'm not going to say anything concerning my opinion, but I'm curious about what you all think of this statement... Any thoughts?

When?

When is it that we find what we're looking for? When do we know if we've made the right choices? When do we accept that change is inevitable and that it's already happening? When can we be satisfied with our decisions? When - through all the tears, the hardships, the pain - will we finally reach the other side?

When can we let go? When does it dawn on us that something that once was is no longer? When can we pick up the shattered pieces? When can we put them back together?

When does life make sense? When does our path ever become straight? When will the going get smooth or enjoyable? When - through all the tears, the hardships, the pain - will shards of our scars become pages of our journey?

When?