Missing

There's a small bulletin board that hangs on the wall in front of my desk. It only takes a simple look to see the many memories it holds. Jazz band, tennis, Adventureland trips, saxophone duets, best friends. Things I miss more than I can say. People I rarely see anymore. Events that will never now be more than memories. There's Prom junior year. That's when John and Ashley teamed up to do some hog mud wrestlin'. Oh and look! John, John, and I are swimming on the Wii while playing Mario and Sonic Olympics. Such wonderful moments...

A minute turn of my head and a graduation gift comes into full view. It's a black cardboard square with blue pie pieces puzzled together. Silver writing accompanies pictures of four of the greatest people on the planet, seen by the fifth as the closest friends one could ask for. These five people make up the senior delegation of the pie club, which has since faltered in our absence. Yet it will always remain strong and true as long as we hold true to each other. As stated on the sixth pie piece, "Without all five senior members the pie club isn't complete. [...] May the tradition never be forgotten as we grow older but never apart."
-Breanna Mathes, Ambassador

And now my screensaver pops up: a collage of the pictures and videos I've acquired throughout the past few years. There's Emily dominating the basketball court. That's our family reunited in St. Louis. Yes, Allie was pregnant with her now beautiful daughter. That's everyone at Neutral Groundz playing the 1649 version of Trivial Pursuit. That's Fernando Verdasco, one of the best professional tennis players in the world. You bet we went to the U.S. Open! And there are all the ink-soaked napkins and kleenexes we had to make use of at 11:00 at night when I decided to tip over my bottle full of India calligraphy ink. Just a sample of the many flickers of life I've experienced. Such wonderful moments...

I miss it. I miss them. I miss all of you. I miss the time when homework was annoying because it was irrelevant. I miss homework that was easy. I miss mathematical problems that had one simple solution and not ten different answers. I miss Galva. I miss basketball. I miss tennis, at least, tennis the way it used to be: without pressure. Without enormous expectations. I miss high school. I miss seeing my friends every day. I miss my room, with cool air conditioning in the summer and cozy heat in the winter. I miss my basement. I miss holidays that still let me return to a school where John Lorenzen played the saxophone, Olivia Leuschen played the flute, and Breanna Mathes ran faster than anyone around. I miss John Harris in Trig class. I miss Ben Grieme and cabbagighi. I miss Eric Rasmussen and le spot. I miss Ashley Drey and all of her horror movies. I miss my family: Matt and all of his big brother-ness; Allie and all of the fun we had with the Disney game; Caleb and all of his accents (yes, every single one of them); Christian with his fake burping; and Emily, even though she was never in the house. I miss Mom, with all of her cooking. Such amazing cooking! I miss real food. I miss having my father as a pastor, but also as a coach.

And yet, one of the things I miss most dearly is how different I was back then. How innocent everything was. How truly simple life was. And now... now things are important. I have responsibilities. I have a stupid banking assignment due Thursday that I haven't even started!

I miss it. I really do.